My husband and I had an overnight with our grandchildren and then Sunday dinner with the family. We did crafts with the kids and made cookies, watched The Grinch, played games and told stories. The time was special and we made great memories. It made me think of a blog I posted years ago which I thought I’d share again.
If you had the opportunity to speak with a loved one who has passed, what would you say? Considering this question, I realized some truths that I had not considered.
Questions come to mind immediately. I would ask my mother about those last moments of her life. Was she aware her granddaughter and I held her during that time?
Was Dad aware his family did not arrive at the hospital in time before he died; a family friend held his hand in the end.
My grandfather O'Brien I would question about his Irish immigrant father and Nan about her desire to be a teacher. Pop Pretty would speak of his parents, Dad's mother about her family. The list goes on...
Then I realized, all I wanted was to be in their presence. Words would be unnecessary though they would come, words of love.
Nothing was left unsaid before, nothing would need to be said then. No regrets...but longing...for physical presence which is the real loss. Now each person is carried in my heart and mind, everywhere, every day, walking through life with me, a part of who I have become. They are a part of me which enjoyed that family time, the me I brought to the experience.
This relationship without their physical presence is hard sometimes but an important one, giving me part of my sense of purpose and identity; the desire to write comes from it too.
Five little words would be necessary after all, "Thank you for my life."
38 comments:
Great post, Marie! Much food for thought here.
A heartfelt poignant post, Marie. I sometimes wonder how I would handle seeing my children once again. Anyway, thank you for sharing this.
A wonderful post, Marie! My mom has been gone for 21 years this month, and Dad, over 15 years. I wish they were still here, but grateful I was able to be there at the end for them. Like you, I have no regrets and while there might be questions I can live with what I already know.
Marie, What an interesting post. Quick story: At the moment my wife’s mother passed she was holding her hand and had been saying a few last words to her, to which there was no response. Then, her mother took a deep breath, and said, out loud, “Well, hello there.” Her eyes closed and she was gone. To this day, we reflect on what happened to her at that moment. Thank you for sharing this post and especially for those five little words. John
My comment may have shown as anonymous ... just wanted to make sure you knew it was from me. John
"Now each person is carried in my heart and mind, everywhere, every day, walking through life with me, a part of who I have become. "
IMO this is as close as we get to immortality.
Beautiful. Thank you.
If. A very big word, even with only two letters...having just returned less than an hour ago from attending a Mass & Celebration of Life. If...
What an interesting thought.... yes, just to be with those people who have gone, it would be so uplifting, but I have to admit, there are so many questions I would ask.
Such a thoughtful post.
What an interesting question, Marie. Like you, in the end, all I would want would be to be with those I've loved.
Glad you could spend time with your grandchildren making memories.
Succinct depth. Thank you.
Nicely said. I'm sure that for many people this would be very meaningful along the way. I would like to ask my folks much more about their younger lives. Dad did tell me how he and Mom got started on their relationship. that was something I had not thought of asking.
Yes, to the five little words. "Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard but always near, still loved, still missed and held so dear" - GH
A wonderful post Marie. Spending time with family is special.
If, I only had more time with those I love creating more happy memories. Take care, have a happy day!
It's interesting to me, Marie, that you have shared this "IF" now because I've been thinking a lot lately about how important it would be for me to visit my siblings in Michigan next year (the same visit when Astrid and I visit my children in Georgia), making sure I see them BEFORE they die instead of going back for a funeral. Living in the Netherlands, far away, means I don't see my extended family often but I've decided I need to do it this next year when I'll be 80. We're not getting any younger, for sure, and I don't want to exclaim "if only!"
Magnificent post. I have thought about a lot of "ifs"...
Thanks for a wonderful post. Lots to think about and process. If is such a powerful word.
This is so touching, and food for thought too.
Oh, Marie....this is beautiful..this makes me want to cry. You said it all so well. I always do think that we carry them in our heart every day of our life.
A powerful post.
From 2018 till now, I have lost five good friends and my mom. There have been more, but these are the ones I felt the most. Mom of course, the worst. We butted heads prob more in my life than not but she was my mom, and I loved her no matter how many times we had words. What would I say to her? I would tell her that I really miss her and all I would want to do is hug her. Tell her about how her family has grown in the years she has been gone. How Amber is in a better place than ever. Basically, just let her know, we all miss her and we love and think of her daily
Beautiful flower in the rain
A beautiful post, Marie. Now you've got me thinking.
What a beautiful reflection on family, memories, and the love that endures even after loved ones have passed. The idea of carrying them in your heart and mind, and feeling their presence in your life, resonates deeply. It’s powerful how our relationships and the people who shaped us continue to influence who we are and what we do, even after they’re gone.
Your closing thought, “Thank you for my life,” captures a profound sense of gratitude and love that feels timeless. It’s amazing how we can hold onto their essence, and those small moments together remain so significant in shaping who we’ve become. Thank you for sharing this thoughtful and heartfelt post.
oh yes a bit of time with a loved one who is no longer here - would be gold :) Coming up to 40 years on Sunday since my mum died. Can hardly believe it... take care, sherry
Marie, you are very kind person. Beautiful.
Marie such a lovely post...yes in the end those five little words are truly all that is necessary. Thanks for sharing such beautiful thoughts. They touched my heart. Hugs!
i loved this post marie, it is so profound and heartfelt. it reminded me of my years as a nurse...i held many a hand of those who were dying. i bought many people comfort as they took their final breath. it brought me comfort also, as i watched them go from suffering to peace. i learned very early on that the people left behind are the only ones suffering. i like your 5 little words!!
sounds like a fun time with the grands!!
This is a post I would like to save for later... to re-read from time to time. Beautifully written!
This was an interesting post. Much food for thought here. Honestly, I don’t know what my answer would be.
that made me cry
longing for physical presence yes ,this is the only but most important thing too missed when my parents took their last breath
it makes heart quite heavy sometimes
thanks for sharing your feeling dear Marie !
hugs and best wishes!
Spoken from the heart... thank you very much and a warm hug from Viola
So many things to ask so many people. SM
Very introspective post Marie. I think we all have questions.
Beautiful post with beautiful pictures...always so nice visiting your lovely blog!
Hug, Titti
All I would want to do was to say how much I loved them. I tear up, frankly, just thinking about it. My dad and I sat with my mother, quietly, holding her hands. I like to think she knew. I like to think she can see her great granddaughter go from strength to strength. But, if and when we find out, we, too, will not be able to speak to our loved ones, except in memory.
Post a Comment