It has been a difficult ten days on Prince Edward Island. An accident on the highway took four lives and destroyed several families. However, in such a small community as PEI, the event itself and the circumstances touch the lives of many.
Early one evening, four young people, on their way to a youth group meeting, were struck head-on by a truck which veered into their lane. Three of the young people died at the scene, a fourth is in hospital having lost his two brothers and an eighteen year old friend in the accident. Several days later, a passenger in the truck died. The driver, who is twenty, will be charged with impaired driving causing death.
For me, this has stirred up the memories of the death of my friend Isabel in tenth grade. She was killed by a drunk driver as her family was going to church one Saturday evening. Her classmates sat vigil at the funeral home with her closed casket because her family was in hospital.
However, I didn’t leave Isabel at the graveside that day. She has been with me through my life, the brilliant fifteen year old who didn’t have a chance to live. She didn’t get married, have children and grandchildren, have a career, or travel. Every life experience was taken away when someone chose to get behind the wheel one Saturday afternoon, taking a young girl’s chance of experiencing the joys and sorrows which make a life. It is fifty plus years since that day and the tears as I write this are as close to the surface as they were back then. Isabel became a statistic but not to me.
As a teacher, I sponsored a group of Students Against Drinking and Driving, S.A.D.D, in a high school where I worked. It was important to me to address the issue with students, creating an awareness of the danger of getting behind the wheel where you make your vehicle a weapon because of alcohol. Young people needed to know what to say and do when others might do the same. Parents needed to provide money for a cab or a ride home. Plans need to be made before the drinking starts. Young people often take such learning into their adult lives.
Alcohol can destroy lives in many ways. An alcoholic in a family can affect generations in that family and society at large in often unseen ways. Weaponizing alcohol by drinking and driving has an immediate effect on others maimed or killed by a choice and those who know and love them.
In fifty years time, others will be thinking about the lives lost recently. Words aren’t enough!
49 comments:
How very sad, Marie. Your words are powerful. Such loss is almost unbearable, especially since it was unnecessary. Hugs, friend. And thank you for your efforts with other young people. Someone has to tell them, and you did just that.
I am sorry for the loss of your friend Isabel and for the loss of the 3 young people. It is a good idea to arrange an Uber or a cab or a designated driver if drinking is involved. The holidays are a good time for this reminder, there are too many parties involving drinking. Your post helps to remind people to stay safe. Take care, enjoy your day and the week ahead.
So sorry about the losses, all of them. Thank you for trying to be part of the solution. This time of year particularly, warnings are good.
Marie, this is a sad and oh, so important post. Drinking and driving has such tragic consequences. Thank you for this. My heart aches for those families who have recently suffered such loss.
Oh Marie, I can hear the pain in your voice as you describe the events of the past and those more recent. Despite her short life, your Isabel had a profound impact on your life and so many others through your involvement with SADD and the conversations you had with the young people.
I think back to my teenage years and know that I was foolish and reckless, and damn lucky not to be involved in such an incident. We simply thought we were invincible.
My heart goes out to all who were impacted as a result of this recent event.
Definitely Words aren't enough!
Drinking and driving has destroyed so many lives.
We just lost the husband of a dear friend of ours for this same reason. Our friend lived but is in rehab and may never walk again. Sad beyond words.
(((hugs)))
Sue
I am so sorry to read this and feel your pain. Then and now. Alcohol is a killer. My heart goes out to all those (including you) affected by this latest tragedy.
I'm so sorry for the loss of these young people. It's heartbreaking. I can't imagine how parents cope with these tragedies.
A wise and timely post, and a lasting tribute to your young school friend. These tragedies happen way too frequently.
So sad to read this, Marie. We had four young people die a few months ago from speeding, It devastated the community The youngsters were all friends, went to school together. A very sad situation for everyone.
That's such a waste of so many lives.
It's impressive that you and your classmates stepped up and handled Isabel's death the way you did, and that you used the experience to try to keep it from happening to other people.
I don't know much about the Canadian criminal justice system, but I hope it does a better job of punishing those who drive drunk than ours does here in the US.
I'm glad you shared about Isabel, and how she isn't just a statistic to you. All of those numbers are someone's family/friends, and I think so many people don't realize that until it's someone they love.
Oh that is so very sad. Drunk drivers, drivers distracted by their cell , so many needless deaths.
My condolences. Oh, Lord, the twenty year old. The driver who hit Isabel's car. Lord, forgive them.
Oh, how terrible, how sad. No words for it.
Drinking and driving has no excuse.
I am sorry for your loss. They walk beside us always. Our small town, besides a cab and Uber, has a group of volunteers that will drive people home on holidays. Bless them.
Oh Marie, this does resonate with me. For me, it was several of my cousins whose school bus was hit by a dump,truck. The driver was impaired. I think it hurt my mother even more; to the end of her life she called it the saddest day she had ever had. I have always tried to be proactive ... drinking to excess is NOT fun ... with the teens I taught. My own daughter drank too much once. Luckily she was travelling by bus. I wanted to take her in a time machine to our church and that row of little coffins. It is frightening how much experience cannot be passed down, ut has to be relearned.
Thanks for doing your part to educate young people about drinking and driving.
That is terrible, both the current accident and your painful loss of the past. I lost more than one student to traffic accidents in the past and know others who came oh so close. They were also four in the car. All escaped death but not injury.
Your post brought tears to my eyes. Our hearts go out to the families impacted by this tragic accident and to you and Isebel's family all these years later.
A heart felt post
Prayers to the families and friends of Isabel and all those lost
oooooh how terrible and sad, both such horrible accidents. there are no words that can be said to bring comforts to all those involved. kids think they are invincible...i hope their friends learn a very valuable lesson from this!!
and my condolences to you marie, it's not easy to lose a close friend when you are young. clearly, you never forget them!!
Damn
I heard about that tragedy. So very sad.
Words are not enough to help those families.
For far too many, Marie, a sense of responsibility is a remote concept, and I fear that is not going to change any time soon. And now we have prominent politicians musing about retribution. We humans are a sorry lot.
I grew up in an alcoholic family. I feel fortunate that nobody was killed by one of my family members driving drunk. And then as a young person, I did that a time or two and was also very lucky I didn't kill myself or someone else. Most of my deceased friends and family have died from illness or skydiving mishaps. Thank you for telling the story of your dear friend who never got to really live. It brings tears to my eyes and heart.
I saw this in the news and thought what a tragedy for young lives. I always contemplate what contributions that they might have made to this world, had they lived. Alcohol is a nasty addiction.
Dear Marie, so very sorry for the senseless loss of your friend so many years ago. So many lives continue to be lost through the alcohol abuse.I am sure your your guidance as a teacher would have changed the mindset of many students.
Well said, and so very true. Memories of poor Isabel live on.
Very sad - loss of young lives due to an alcoholic driver!
Kudos to you for trying to draw young people's attention to the dangers of driving under alcohol influence!
So very tragic, both recent and old losses. Never forgotten.
I could feel this post in the pit of my stomach. How tragic. I really have no other words beyond this.
it is incredibly heart rending when this happens. And it makes me really cross to know these sorts of accidents are completely avoidable if people were responsible drivers. All the best and Merry Christmas!
It's so sad to read, may the families have a lot of strength to deal with it...
a hug.
All good wishes for you Viola
So very sad and so tragic...
Love from Titti
Thats a sad time for you and the families.. I too remember a friend killed age 15, her name was Rachel.
That is painful, and of course it would bring up old memories.
Such a tragic story in so many ways from the loss of lives, no matter what age, to the thoughtless actions of a driver. It is even worse when several in a single family have died. My condolences to the families affected as their holidays will be sadder from here on with memories.
So sad to hear!and in Christmas time!!
I still wish for you a good Christmas with family..
My condolences to the families affected
Thank you for a little note on my blog I was very happy about it :)
A wonderful post, Marie. So sad and tragic. Blessings to you for your life long response to help young people learn the risks associated with drinking and driving. Reading this on Christmas day makes me especially thankful for the support of family and friends. Thank you for sharing this post and I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas. John
What awful news. Many years ago my brother was killed in a car accident, never to be forgotten how I felt when I heard the news.
Belated Happy Christmas and all the best for 2034. Cheers Diane
A sad story - and one we should all think about every time we get behind the wheel.
Stewart M - Melbourne
This was really important and powerful sharing dear Marie!
Sorry feels so little before what you lost. I can totally understand how crushing it can be to loosing a school friend who could have live and grow with you died only because of extremely irresponsible behaviour of other person!
I lost my school friend when I was in third grade .but that was a natural accident. A cave collapsed on her and other few friends she was playing with unfortunately.
I think there must be more strict laws against such cruelty.
So sad and heart breaking. Unfortunately, here are many such stories with drunk drivers.
That was heartbreaking to read. I felt your emotions through the entire piece. I was just telling Tim the other day, that I don't get why bars are even a thing. Why anyone can serve drinks out, at any place. It confuses me, beyond words.
I am sad for your friend, for you and the famlies of this story.
Biggest of huggs.
A very beautiful but sad post. The drunk drivers are a real problem.
Happy new year.
I can't think of anything to write here that has not already been written by your previous commenters. Such a tragic loss of life, both the current tragedy and back when Isobel lost her life. Please please... anyone reading this... do not drink and drive, or drive and drink.
Dear Marie. Your writing about your loss and your feelings touched my emotions deeply. Back in the sixties when I was young, I didn't drink much at all. Never liked it or the feelings it gave me. But when I dated and went to parties I often had to ride home with someone who had been drinking heavily. I prayed all the way home that we made it safely. If I tried to be given the keys so I could drive, I was flatly refused. I am so grateful that I was never in an accident with a drunk driver. I am so sorry for the loss of your childhood friend and proud of you for your efforts to stop young people from drinking and driving.
That was a wonderful thing to do. I agree whole heartedly.
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