She crossed the parking lot as my husband parked the car. We were out for the last shop for our Easter family dinner which is today. A few last minute items made a weekend shopping trip essential.
I noticed the yoga pants the woman wore which had a beautiful cut-work design on the lower part of each leg, highlighting each calf. The black pants looked great on her, a woman probably in her fifties.
When I went inside the store, she was at the check-out, and as I passed, I complimented her on the pants and how great they looked on her. She said, “Thank you. Now if I was just smaller…”
Her reaction didn’t surprise me. So often women won’t take a compliment without denigrating ourselves in some way, especially about our weight or size. Such insecurities are the result of lifelong learning and are tough to relinquish especially in a society focussed on “thin.” It is easy to feel inadequate in such a world. However, a compliment from a random stranger can brighten the day if one accepts it without qualification.
I will continue my effort to brighten at least one person’s day, every day.
——————
We’ve had a miserable week of weather with high winds and rain. Snow only clings to shaded areas now. My most recent photo of the marina shows the last of the ice which is now gone.
Spring, glorious spring!
42 comments:
Hello,
What a beautiful scene and photo, love the water view and the beautiful blue sky. It is nice to brighten someone's day with kind words. Take care, enjoy your day and have a great week ahead.
Ah, so important to remember. We should just say thank you and accept the compliment! 🙂
Yes, unfortunately women are trained in self-deprecation. But keep on complimenting people!
It's so good to say just thank you, that was nice to hear, at a compliment. Anyway, thank you for the post.
You know what I've been working on really hard? Taking a compliment. It's hard. The correct response is "Thank you!" but I feel like we've been trained for too long to tack additional nonsense on to the end of it: if only I lost weight, I bought it on clearance, etc. We don't need to deflect! Accept compliments. But it's hard.
I would really like spring to finally arrive!
Your photo is heavenly. That water looks so clean and reflects the beautiful blue sky. Hope you had a lovely Easter. Have a great start to April and yes a glorious spring!
Yes, it is so true... we as women are guilty of putting ourselves down. Receiving a true compliment is difficult for most of us.
I like that you gave a compliment to that woman and I think I can certainly do better at it myself.
Thanks for the reminder to always be kind.
The blues of your last photo are wonderful.
Its so nice to see the sunshine again.
Sue
It is always nice to receive or give a compliment. And I would be the one to add that 'if I were just smaller.' I need to learn to just say thank you and go on. Plus, I don't hear it said any more, but used to hear 'it's what is on the inside that matters.'
That is a beautiful photo.
Compliments can brighten someone's day! Thank you for the post.
The world needs more Maries! Your words and photography regularly brighten the day of all your readers.
Wonderful to see this glorious blue for your Easter.
i, like you, realize the importance of kind words, a compliment!! i am aware of how woman respond negatively about themselves, so sad!! i have to stop myself from doing it and just say thank you!! keep it up marie, you are a very kind soul!! we have rain today, in fact, we have had a lot of rain but easter sunday was gorgeous!! i hope you had a nice weekend!!
Thank you. I find compliments difficult. Fortunately my friends here in the blogosphere have taught me to say thank you, and not denigrate myself. Mostly.
Hooray for spring!
I agree, women tend to not accept compliments easily and with a simple thank you. I'm sure you made her day, regardless of her response.
We should be much more positive with ourselves. As for females, there aren't enough serious positive comments coming from males.
You are so right about us not giving ourselves enough love. I will take your challenge and try to make at least one person's day better, every day. Sending you lots of love and appreciation.
What a lovely idea to give a compliment a day to a person you meet! Love that idea and will try it myself :)
Great post, great picture!
Love from Titti
What a lovely idea to say something nice to someone each day.
I just like to compliment people on their looks, clothes, haircut. It makes me feel good, and hopefully it makes the recipient of the compliment feel good and grateful.
So very true. Good on you for taking time to tell her how good she looked.
Love the idea of giving compliments regularly. And it's so true, we often denigrate ourselves rather than accept compliments as a gift.
Lovely to see the ice gone! Bring on Spring!
Thanks for planting the seed and telling us about your random act of kindness towards strangers.
I will follow your lead.
Hugs
Peggy xx
dear Marie you are such a lovely person !
it is little hard for me to understand why people find hard to take compliment actually ? it is so because i live in country where people's mind haven't touched that level of complexity and therefore they still have ability to enjoy little pleasures of life such as receiving complements from others sometimes .
i have bad habit to highlight what i see good in others and i feel so helpless to resist this habit of mine like it is duty given by God to me and i have to do it anyway.
i often compliment others and today reading your post i realize that i get a better response at least (though) i do it selflessly yet it is natural to feel hurt if someone reacts negatively )
despite the harsh weather this week you posted a stunning photo of divine blue sky :) heartfelt thanks for this !
hugs and blessings
Sue sometimes gets comments about her attire, but she doesn't deflect them. Then I kid the commenter saying that Sue hates to be noticed.
I don't know about glorious spring... We had a severe storm last night that woke me up. And it is still raining at this moment...
I like to compliment people. And I don't mind being complimented as well. : ))
A man would never have that response.
A random stranger giving sweet words cam brighten your day
Your weather seems to change quite dramatically!
I often feel I want to compliment another woman - maybe I should actually do it more often.
There, I've done it. Messaged someone to say how lovely she looked. But, yes, you're right; accepting compliments can be hard.
Marie, giving compliments is something we all need to do more often and I also do try if I notice an attractive outfit or hat. However, what you said is so true that women are more apt to body shame themselves.
Happy Birthday to your brother and what a coincidence that we have siblings with the same birthdate. Your brother is a bit younger as mine is 71 today.
Also, it was great to read that Spring may be arriving soon as we have a nor'easter's lingering effects all day today.
Hello Marie :=)
What a lovely blue sky and blue calm water of the Marina. It looks like a warm day, and I'm sure you are pleased that the snow has melted. Why not make someones day by giving them a compliment, it cost us nothing to be kind to someone. I sometimes smile at strangers on my walks, but you wouldn't believe how many people give me stony stares in return.If someone smiled at me with even a good morning thrown in, I would smile back wouldn't you? I don't like to receive flattery nor do I give it, but a sincere compliment ( and you can tell the difference) is a gift either received or given. From now on I will try to brighten someones day with a kindness every day, just like you Marie,and I'm sure it will also make me very happy.
All the best
Sonjia.
Beautiful blue sky. Brightening at least one person's day is a wonderful goal!
The water looks like place to swim in. But I know it cold.
Snowing here today. I do not do that when someone says something nice. I say thank you and we often chat for a bit after. It is fun. And then there was Julia Child who said something along the lines of never point out or apologize for cooking and baking mistakes. She was a hoot.
We just had a massive snow dump. One result was that the juncos and red-winged blackbirds have come to the feeder they could find under the wet, heavy burden on every tree and twig. I can hear the blackbirds whistling now, probably commenting on the strange taste of the seed they usually shun.
Hello Marie,
What a lovely encounter you've shared, highlighting the power of simple kindness and compliments in brightening someone's day. It's unfortunate how often we tend to downplay compliments, particularly when it comes to our appearance. Your willingness to offer a genuine compliment to a stranger speaks volumes about your compassionate nature and desire to spread positivity.
Perhaps your positivity will be getting a reward from nature. Next Monday, April 8, the path of the 2024 total solar eclipse will pass over parts of Prince Edward Island. See the path at https://eclipse-explorer.smce.nasa.gov/ It appears to me that totality near you may be around 4:40PM ADT.
John
Thank you Marie for the sweet comments on my blog post.
Yes, I do think we are very alike in many ways.
Enjoy your weekend.
Sue
When you think about it, Marie, it's often hard to "accept" compliments with nothing else but an "Awww, thank you" response. You're right. (sigh)
Now that Easter has come and gone I think we all are programmed to believe Spring really is here, even if extreme snowfall (a foot!) still hits some places, like it did at my sister's in Maine a couple days ago (not far from you!). At least your ice is gone and probably by now the shady patches of snow...unless you, too, were hit by the same Nor'easter?!
Beautiful scene!
Compliments should be accepted graciously. Simple as that. I know a woman who has a lovely garden. I have given up telling her that her garden looks great, because the predictable reply is along the lines of, “Not really, I still haven’t weeded the back flower bed, and the primula have taken over the front, and the Hostas need to be divided……” .and on it goes. A simple “Thank you” would suffice - and be much better!
Re Civil War reproduction fabrics...I am not sure if anyone makes them now. They were popular here probably 10 or 15 years ago
Your compliment probably still made that woman's day, even if she felt like she needed to be smaller. There's just something really nice about a stranger saying something nice like that.
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