Laughing at Ourselves

Rick, my husband, had occasion to return an item to a local retailer one night this past week. Our car is parked in the garage on the side of the house, 

and if you turn on the garage light from the porch, the light stays on when you drive away. Not one ever to waste electricity, Rick never turns the light on in the garage as he exits the house. Sneakers are on the step of the garage and he picked out his sneakers in the darkness, put them on, entered the car and drove to the store.

In the parking lot, Rick bent to tie one sneaker. It was then he realized he was wearing one black and one gray sneaker which were not at all alike.

Rick proceeded to enter the store and return the item. It did not occur to him to return home because he is a fashion forward man after all. Before long others would be wearing similar footwear.

At the return desk, the clerk was serving another customer and having difficulty. Meanwhile, Rick tried to hide his feet as he waited. However, he was prepared to say to anyone who noticed his unusual footwear that he had another pair at home just like them.

For the last year and a half I have suffered periodically with a painful right knee which I hurt doing exercise. Physiotherapy helps during those painful bouts. Between those times, I can do very light exercise but if I am not careful, I re-injure it. I need a more permanent fix. Meanwhile I am suffering through a painful bout now, having overdone it on the the treadmill again.

As anyone with knee or hip problems knows, getting in and out of a vehicle is very difficult. Entrance and exit can be excruciatingly painful and it reduces the number of times one is willing to suffer the pain. Not only do you reduce the number of outings in your vehicle, you also invent ways to cope, especially if you are driving.  

Recently I drove to my latest physiotherapy appointment. When I parked the car in the limited space available, it was a major, painful effort to get out of the vehicle. Our car has unintended, self-closing doors and that day the door insisted on slamming into the good leg which was planted in a puddle of water. I attempted to lift the bad leg out of the car but to no avail. The anticipation of the pain precluded the effort. I was frustrated and ready to swear verbally which I was doing mentally. Meanwhile the door had hit the other leg several times by now as I continued to push it open.

The effort to lift the bad leg meant that I hit the horn somehow which alerted others in the area. Several attempts and several horn blasts later, I decided to lie in sideways across the passenger seat, keep my good leg out the door, and with some painful effort, ease the bad leg out as well. Of course the self-closing door hit both legs then. It took about five minutes to maneuver out of the vehicle.

At the end of the physiotherapy session, I mentioned to the therapist how painful it was to enter and exit the car. He looked at me and said casually, "Put the seat back."